Destroyed & Restored - The Baron's Courageous Wife Read online

  As the door closed behind them, Matthew sagged forward, resting his face in his hands. His eyes closed as he inhaled one slow breath after another, feeling all tension leave his body.

  “Well played, my lord,” one of Tristan’s men commented, an appreciative smile on his face. “I suppose there is no harm in having half the gaming hell hear him complain about losing her hand.”

  Matthew shook his head. “There is not. Will you see to it?”

  The man nodded and then turned and left with the rest of his companions.

  Indeed, if Mr. Harkin did not remember in the morning that he had lost Lady Adelaide’s hand, then there would be enough people to remind him of it.

  As the night’s success slowly sank in, a small smile tugged on Matthew’s lips, and his thoughts inevitably turned to Lady Adelaide.

  He had won her hand.

  She was his.

  At least for tonight, he could pretend that it was true. Tonight, she was safe. But what would happen the next time her father offered up her hand?

  Matthew knew that only once she was married for real would she ever be truly safe.

  Chapter Six – All Shall Be Well

  The past three days Adelaide had barely slept a wink. Her mind had been too preoccupied with all the what-ifs that loomed in her future, and her heart ached with the fear of the unknown that lay ahead. Not even Tillie’s innocent smiles could distract her for long, for they only served as a reminder of what she had to lose.

  Rising early, Adelaide wandered the house like a ghost, her eyes unseeing as she mulled over everything that might come to pass, unable to concentrate on anything for too long. As she walked by her father’s study, she noticed that the door was ajar. Glimpsing inside, Adelaide found him seated behind his desk, head resting in his hands.

  Stepping forward, Adelaide lifted her hand to knock. Perhaps her father knew something. As she had yet to receive a note from Lady Elton, Adelaide had no way of knowing what had transpired in the last three days, and not knowing was slowly driving her mad.

  Perhaps her father knew something.

  Perhaps.

  Swallowing, she knocked, flinching slightly as her father’s head snapped up, his red-rimmed eyes finding hers through the gap between door and frame.

  “Come in,” he ordered, and yet, his voice held no strength.

  With shaking hands, Adelaide pushed open the door and stepped across the threshold. Slowly, she approached her father’s desk, suddenly realising that she had rarely been in his study. It was his most private place. A place that no one was allowed to enter without express permission.

  Adelaide had never dared challenge that.

  “Are you all right, Father?” she asked feebly as it seemed the most inconspicuous thing to say.

  Sighing, he looked up, then gestured for her to sit. “It is fortunate that you are here,” he began, and yet, the resignation in his voice made it clear that what he was about to say did not please him in the least, “as I’ve been meaning to speak to you.”

  “Yes, Father,” was all Adelaide could say as her skin crawled with a sense of foreboding. Was there a hint of resignation in her father’s eyes? Never had she seen him like this. Always had he seemed strong, in control.

  Clearing his throat, he finally met her eyes…though reluctantly as though he felt ashamed of what he had to tell her. “I’m…pleased to inform you,” he began, a grotesque imitation of a smile coming to his face, “that I’ve…received another offer of marriage for you.”

  Although the news was not news to her and Adelaide was very much aware of the circumstances of said offer, her heart still stopped for a short moment as though it truly had not known.

  “Although he is not titled,” her father continued, “he is very wealthy and has gained great respect in society over the past decade. I’m certain it will be a most advantageous match for all of us as it is always a good idea to align oneself with influential people. I have no doubt that you will want for nothing.”

  Adelaide swallowed, willing herself not to faint on the spot.

  Again, her father sighed. “You’ll be doing your family a great service.” For a moment, he held her gaze, looking at her as he had never done before in all her years. “If you’ll excuse me, I have matters to attend to.”

  Nodding, Adelaide retreated until her back collided with the door. Then she mumbled a quick goodbye and all but fled her father’s study. By the time she reached the front hall, tears were streaming down her face, and her heart hammered so hard in her chest that she felt certain her ribs would crack at any moment.

  “Lady Adelaide, this missive was delivered for you.”

  At their butler’s words, Adelaide stopped in her tracks, shame sneaking into her heart that he would happen upon her in such a state. Quickly, she wiped the tears from her face, blinking her lids and encouraging a small smile to curl up the corners of her mouth.

  Then, and only then, did she turn to face him. “Thank you, Walton.” Reaching for the letter, she nodded her head, then turned and hastened up the stairs and toward her chamber.

  When the door closed behind her, hiding her away from prying eyes, Adelaide exhaled the breath she had been holding. All but stumbling toward the armchair by the window, she sank into it as her shaking legs would no longer support her. Then Adelaide glanced down at the letter, wondering how much more she could take before crumbling into a thousand pieces.

  It was then that her eyes recognised Lady Elton’s handwriting, and her pulse hitched even higher.

  Instantly, her fingers reached to break the seal, but then stopped. What if Lady Elton wrote to tell her that all had gone horribly wrong? That she would truly have to marry this Mr. Harkin?

  Closing her eyes, Adelaide pressed her fingers to her temples as a throbbing pain began to beat against the insides of her skull. Could she face this truth here and now? Alone?

  What if it is good news? a small voice whispered.

  “What if it is good news?” Adelaide repeated almost dazed, once more glancing down at the envelope as though she could tell by the look of it what it contained.

  Then without conscious thought, her fingers moved, breaking the seal and pulling forth a folded parchment. The envelope glided to the floor as her hands hurried to reveal the words written on the crisp, white paper.

  All shall be well. Call on me this afternoon.

  Never had Adelaide received a shorter letter, and yet, none had ever brought her the relief that flooded her being in that moment. All tension left her aching muscles, and bereft of all strength, Adelaide slid off the chair and onto the floor. Her head came to rest on the soft Persian rug, and she closed her eyes feeling the warm morning sun on her face.

  All will be well.

  With all her being, Adelaide clung to these words, a balm to her battered soul. All her life−but especially lately−she had felt like a piece of driftwood tossed about by the stormy sea, unable to hold on to anything to steady her. Would this never cease?

  Bless Lady Elton, her mind whispered, and a small smile came to Adelaide’s face. Even when they had not yet known each other, the young woman had come to her rescue, redirecting Lord Arlton’s regard elsewhere. And now, once again, she had worked tirelessly to ensure Adelaide’s future did not lie in the hands of another old man. Why Lady Elton tended to her so devotedly, Adelaide could not say, but then and there, she did not care.

  All she knew was that she was blessed to call her a friend.

  Chapter Seven – Under One Condition

  Once again, Matthew stepped over the threshold into Tristan’s study. Only this time, he found his cousin alone.

  Stepping forward, Tristan embraced him warmly, a bright smile on the man’s face. “You’ve gotten some sleep,” he observed as a teasing grin formed on his lips. “Good. Last night you looked quite the fright.”

  Matthew chuckled, quickly remembering the ease he always felt in his cousin’s presence. Tristan as well as his wife were sincere and honest peo
ple who always spoke their minds and were at times painfully direct. Still, that trait only served to prove that there was no hidden agenda or whispers behind his back. Without a doubt, Matthew knew that if his cousin were to disapprove of him, he would say so outright.

  “I’m glad everything worked out,” Tristan said, honest relief on his face as he offered Matthew a drink. “I was worried we might not succeed.”

  Declining the drink, Matthew swallowed. “Were you worried I could not do it?” he asked before he could stop himself, knowing that his self-doubt was nothing he wished others to be aware of.

  Exhaling loudly, Tristan looked at him. “I never doubted your commitment nor your honour,” he said, his gaze steady as it held Matthew’s. “All I meant to say was that given that you’re a painfully honest man, I felt that deceiving another even if for a good reason might be asking a lot of you. That is all.”

  Nodding, Matthew felt the tension flow from his muscles. Again, he had interpreted a comment based on his own insecurities, his own low opinion of himself. Although Tristan’s words soothed the ache in his soul, Matthew could not deny that he himself was the one who was unable to free himself of these doubts. He could not help but wonder if he indeed was a good man. An honest man. Everything that had happened in his life had made him doubt himself, his own worth.

  First, his father’s disregard despite Matthew’s countless efforts to be the son his father desired. And then, the life-shattering realisation that he had indeed been a man of weak character, allowing his father to manipulate him so effortlessly.

  It gnawed at Matthew day in and day out, and he wondered if he would ever be able to put these thoughts to rest.

  Perhaps it was true and there was no need to prove himself to those he held most dear. However, it was also undeniably true that the need to prove to himself that he was−or could be−a man of worth was a constant struggle.

  Still, only those who tried could eventually succeed.

  Tristan’s gaze remained on his for a good while, and Matthew could see that his cousin was not oblivious to his struggle. Clasping a hand on Matthew’s shoulder, he said, “All went well. You did good. You saw her safe.”

  The ghost of a smile brushed over Matthew’s lips, and his heart warmed at the thought of Lady Adelaide. “I must admit that I feared it would not work until the last moment when Mr. Harkin placed his cards on the table, and I saw that I beat him.” He shook his head, sighing with relief. “I cannot remember ever having felt that anxious.”

  Still watching him, Tristan’s gaze narrowed as the hint of a mischievous smile came to his lips. “You have never even spoken to her, have you?”

  Matthew swallowed. “Who?”

  Tristan’s grin widened. “Lady Adelaide, of course.”

  “I have not,” Matthew replied, his mouth suddenly beginning to feel dry as he saw the speculation in his cousin’s eyes. “I…saw her here and there at a ball, but we were not in the same circle so….” His voice trailed off, and he wondered what he had wanted to say.

  Sighing, a hint of regret came to Tristan’s face. “I apologise for not including you more, Matthew. I admit at the time I was fairly preoccupied with my own demons to think of you. I should have introduced you.”

  Matthew shook his head. “I do not blame you, Tristan. After all, it was my own father who had conjured your demons.” Swallowing, he licked his lips, his mouth drier than before. “I want to apologise for my role in−”

  “Don’t!”

  The vehemence in Tristan’s voice made Matthew flinch, and for a moment, he stared at his cousin rather dumbfounded.

  Inhaling a deep breath, Tristan shook his head. “I’m sorry for my outburst. However, I do hate to see you torture yourself so.” Stepping forward, Tristan once more placed a comforting hand on Matthew’s shoulder. “You, my friend, are a good man, and no one can fault you for believing in your own father. You were not wrong to trust him, to trust his word. None of us knew what he had done. None of us knew what his intentions had been. You need to forgive yourself. Now. Before you waste a lifetime regretting something that was not within your power.”

  Touched beyond words, Matthew nodded. Never had he felt so close to anyone the way he now felt in Tristan’s company. His cousin was a truly good and loyal man, and Matthew was fortunate to call him family. They ought to have been as close as brothers from the start, and they would have been if his father had not interfered.

  Still, that was of the past, and the future now rested in their hands, not his father’s.

  Nodding his head in agreement, Matthew smiled when he saw relief come to his cousin’s face.

  “Good,” Tristan said, stepping back and crossing his arms in front of his chest. His gaze once more narrowed as he watched Matthew with a hint of contemplation. “Now, tell me, what do you think of Lady Adelaide?”

  Taken aback, Matthew felt his eyes go wide and then saw a knowing smile come to his cousin’s face.

  Averting his gaze, Matthew cleared his throat. “She seems kind,” he croaked, knowing that his comment fell far short of the goodness that always rested in her eyes. All too well did he recall the gentleness that clung to her features as well as that fleeting smile that would cross her face now and then as though she did not dare smile a real smile, unwilling to trust even the smallest kind of happiness. “And sad,” he added, meeting his cousin’s gaze once more. “Now, I know why.”

  Tristan’s face sobered as he nodded in agreement.

  Feeling his muscles tense, Matthew shook his head in disbelief. “How can her own father do this to her? This is a far cry from an arranged marriage based on mutual benefits. This is outrageous!” Dimly aware that his voice rose, Matthew tried his best to control the sudden outburst that had sneaked up on him when he had least suspected it. “He lost her hand in a card game, for goodness sake! That man has no honour, giving her to scum like Harkin. Neither man deserves her.”

  “I agree,” Tristan said. “Then what kind of man do you think would deserve her?”

  Although deep in his soul, Matthew understood the reason behind his cousin’s words, he could not stop himself from saying, “A true gentleman who would treat her with the utmost respect and truly understands how fortunate he would be to have her in his life.”

  In answer, Tristan’s grin grew wider. “Again, I agree.” His brows rose. “A man like you?”

  Even though he had seen it coming, Matthew felt the air knocked from his lungs at his cousin’s suggestion. His eyes opened wide, and for a moment, he was unable to form a conscious thought.

  “You won her hand after all,” Tristan pointed out rather matter-of-factly. Still, the grin on his face continued to linger.

  The lady’s fearful eyes rose in his mind, and Matthew shook his head, taking a step back. “That was not our agreement,” he stated, knowing in his heart that it would be wrong to force her hand as her father had no doubt done all her life.

  Tristan’s eyes narrowed. “Do you not want her?”

  Cringing at the words, Matthew almost growled in agony at the memories they conjured. “Men ought not to act on want alone,” he forced out through clenched teeth. “Those who do will all too quickly lose themselves to a darker place from whence there is no return.”

  Concern drew down Tristan’s brows as he once again stepped toward his cousin, his gaze seeking to understand. “I hear what you’re saying, Matthew, and I assure you that you are the only one who thinks of you thus. There is not a single doubt in my mind that you are an honourable man and that Lady Adelaide would be fortunate to call you her husband.” Then his brows rose in question yet again. “Do you want her?”

  Feeling his shoulders slump, Matthew exhaled a deep breath as exhaustion stole over him.

  “I suspected as much,” Tristan chuckled when Matthew lifted his head once more. “The moment I spoke of her, something changed in you.”

  “She…I…” Matthew stammered without knowing what he wanted to say.

  Still, Tr
istan nodded as though he understood. Perhaps he did. Perhaps he remembered his own muddled brain when he had first met Beth.

  “Listen, despite our best efforts,” Tristan stated, his voice sobering, “we will not be able to keep her safe indefinitely. One day, her father will succeed in tying her to another, and then there will be nothing we can do.” His eyes implored Matthew to listen. “The only option is to see her married to a good man before her father can destroy her happiness for good.”

  Torn between temptation and his fear of failing yet again, Matthew nodded. “I know. That thought has been with me ever since I returned last night. At first, I was euphoric, but then I realised that it was only a temporary solution.”

  “Then what are you afraid of?” Tristan asked, straightforward as always.

  Gritting his teeth, Matthew held his cousin’s gaze, knowing that now was not the time for false bravery and pretend reasons. “That I…may not be good enough for a woman like her.”

  “You’ve felt like this all your life, have you not?” Tristan asked, a strange sense of understanding in his blue eyes. “As have I. No matter what I did, I could never live up to your father’s expectations, and I always thought the fault lay with me. I never once contemplated that he might be the one to blame.” He sighed, and for a moment, utter relief washed over his face. “And then I met Beth, and she showed me that I did not need to change in order to be the man I wanted to be. All I had to do was open my eyes.” Gripping Matthew’s shoulders with both hands, Tristan held his gaze. “Do you want her?”

  His teeth pressed together almost painfully. “Yes.”

  “Good,” Tristan stated. “Then marry her, and keep her safe, and then allow her to do the same for you.”

  Bewildered, Matthew stared at his cousin. Not in a million years would he have seen this coming. Certainly, he had been aware of his regard for Lady Adelaide despite his best efforts to ignore it. However, never would he have expected this turn of events.